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A Letter to Santa (The Best Christmas Wish List Ever)

Dear Santa,

My family has compiled this modest Christmas List for your consideration.  Rather than bother you with who in the family gets what, we thought we’d just present a group list, and we’ll divvy out the stuff once you deliver it.  We understand that some of these items may be a bit more exotic than your normal requests, but we also know how awesome you are, and we’re sure you’ll do your best.


The Montano Family


Christmas Wish List

1. A shark.

2. A submarine.

3. A super-hero.

4. A blue ninja.

5. A red ninja.  (I can only assume that #4 and 5 are going to fight for our amusement, or something.)

6. A suit of power armor.  (My son wants Power Ranger armor. I’d prefer something from Robotech.)

7. A dinosaur.  (Preferably a triceratops.)

8. A katana (I’d like one like Michonne’s, but my son wants one of the Power Ranger variety).Michonne's Katana

9.  A super villain’s lair, complete with the minions from “Despicable Me”.Despicable Me Minions

10. A light saber.  (My son wants Darth Vader’s.  I want Darth Maul’s.)

11. Bat wings.

12. A karate robot to spar with.

13. A microphone that makes you sing better. (I’m getting this for BOTH of my kids.)

14. Private performances by Adele, Sting, Mesh, Mumford & Sons, Linkin Park, Pink and Diorama.

15. A Star Destroyer.  (Do they come in blue?)

16. A robot for my son, complete with “arms, legs, swords, and a face”.

17. 90,356,000 “big whales”. (My son has a thing for the number 90,356,000. I don’t think he cares what he gets, so long as he gets that many of them.)

18. A barber’s chair that lifts you up to the sky.

19. A catapult.

20. New Zealand.

21. A detachable head. (You never know when you’ll need one.)

22. The Starship Voyager.


23. A zombie.

24. A vampire.

25.  A mummy. (Honestly, I’m not sure what we need #23-25 for.)

26. A bottomless cup of ever-warm coffee.

27. The Tardis.

28. A basketball team.  (Preferably the Spurs.  If you give me the Lakers, I’ll celebrate Hanukkah, instead.)


29. A giant rock. (My son is weird.)

30. A robotic dog.

31. A giant M&M creature. (Don’t ask.)

32. A kung fu octopus.

33. A chicken with spider-legs. (Thank my son for that one.)

34. A rocket-propelled basketball.  (I don’t know why. It just sounds like fun.)

35. A freeze ray.

36. The Iron Giant.

Iron Giant

37. A factory that produces bottled liquid Awesome.

38. Mad Max’s V8 Interceptor.

39.  The car from “Cobra” (a 1950 Mercury Monterey; Sylvester Stallone not included).Mercury Monterey

40. Equador.

41. The Batmobile.  (Preferably the Chris Nolan version, but we’re flexible.)

42. A hot dog.  (OK, that one’s also from my son.  He asks for a hot dog every morning, so I’m not surprised he’s asking for one here, too.)

43. Scotland.

44. A TV that only plays shows worth watching.

45. A teleporter.  (Make sure it works.  I don’t want any Jeff Goldblum-ish incidents.)

46. A dragon.  Red.

47. Wile E. Coyote. (He’ll be my personal assistant.)

Wile E

48. A llama.


49. The destruction of stupidity.

50. An anti-bullshit ray. (#49 and 50 are really for everyone, not just us.)


Merry Christmas!



  1. Jen Kirchner

    Dear Santa,

    I, too, want these things. But give me two of #26.


    • Daezarkian


  2. Marissa Farrar

    Hmmm… I can’t help wondering how the inhabitants of Scotland, Ecuador and New Zealand are going to feel when they wake up on Xmas morning underneath your Xmas tree. Otherwise I think that’s a perfectly reasonable list. 😉

    • Daezarkian

      They’ll be happy with the knowledge that their new ruler is quite benevolent. =D

  3. Lammie Oostenbrink

    Dear Santa,
    i know you don’t visit the Netherlands, but I wouldn’t mind a Star Trek Voyager and The Tardis myself. Oh, and Bilbo Baggins’ home. To get away every now and then.
    Love, Lammie

    • Daezarkian

      I’d love a hobbit home. =D

  4. Blissful Elf on RS

    BEST ever yes! I presume Jen that asked for 2 of #26 continually loses 1 of her cups of coffee as I do. I’d like to request Belize, simply for the weather although Ecuador may do in a pinch. Daezarkian’s clever request for a hobbit home is agreeable though I’d like mine to have retractable ceilings & an indoor garden that waters itself please & thank you. Last but not least, a time machine for myself and all who may find it useful as well. Merry Christmas!

    • Daezarkian

      I’ll take Belize. That would do nicely. ;D


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